Wednesday 27 February 2019

The Members of The Fam : Yaz, The Damsel





A young Police Constable approaches two squabbling women. Her attitude to policing seems to channel Sgt Cawood from Happy Valley.

SONIA: 
She smashed it with a hammer!

JANEY: 
Cos you keyed me nearside door!

SONIA: 
Because you parked in my spot!

JANEY: 
It's not your spot. 
There are no spots.

YAZ: 
Ladies, please! 
Thank you. 

Can I suggest a simple solution? 

 “ Never Ask for Permission, It’s a Complete Waste of Time. ” 
— Tony Benn 

You pay for her cracked window,
 you pay for her scratched door, 
and we all agree that parking round here is a nightmare —

But that grown-ups really shouldn't need to call The Police to sort it out for them. 

Now, if we're all agreed on that, 
there's no need for me to take any further Police Action and we can all get on with our lives. 

What do you reckon?

[Police car / Police station]

YASMIN: 
I'm just saying,  
I am capable of more 
 than parking disputes.

RAMESH: 
And I keep telling you, 
Don't run before you can walk. 

You're a probationer, Yaz. 
Learn The Basics.

From Who? (See What I Did There..?)  
— She was sent out to attend the parking incident solo, so she already  knows “The Basics of Routine Community-Policing”, well enoughto do it unsupervised, without additional officers or back-up, whilst sleep-walking underwater, and with the lights off for the entire street, as well as the next 3 streets on either side. 

She Doesn’t Need Supervision
And They Know That.
Because She’s unpartnered — and out there on her own.

YAZ : 
I want to do more

Can you not get them to give me something that'll test me? 

Something a bit different.

RAMESH: 
There is something that just came in....
If you want ‘different’....




"T'Kuvma knew that the most powerful empire was a united empire. Twenty-four houses working as one. He believed the quickest way to bring us together was war with the Federation. 

But in this fight, we have lost our way. A new leader is needed to fulfill my lord's vision. 

I am that leader."


– L'Rell, 2257 
"Will You Take My Hand?"


Damsel #1 :
[in English] 
Scream.
I said, scream.

Damsel #2 :
No.
[both screaming] 

[guard laughs]  
[retreating footsteps] 

Damsel #1 :
Good.
You were convincing.
The guard is gone.
Now we can talk.


What happens to those who Starfleet captures? 

Damsel #2 :
In war? They're imprisoned.
Interrogated, humanely.
Eventually, they're returned to their people as part of any final peace settlement.

Damsel #1 :
So, you do not execute them.

Damsel #2 :
The Federation has no death penalty.

Damsel #1 :
I wish to defect.
There's nothing here for me now.
The p'taQ my people now follow has no honor.
It is because of Kol I am alone.
I had like-minded brothers and sisters.
Even the one chosen by Lord T'Kuvma to be his successor.
But he was chased away.
Forever gone.
Everyone is gone.
My vessel is in a nearby hangar.
Kahless willing, we will use it to both escape with our lives, and you will guarantee me safe passage onto your ship.

Damsel #2 :
My ship?

Damsel #1 :
 Discovery.
I know its shuttle delivered you to the trap on Cancri IV.

Damsel #2 :
Why should I trust you? - 

Damsel #1 :
Because we need each other, Admiral.
And what other option do you have? 

Damsel #2 :
Certain we can get to your ship undetected? 


Damsel #1 :
I know this vessel as if it were my home.
It was my home, once.
First I am ensuring the end of Kol's days.
He neglected T'Kuvma's message.
He desecrated this vessel with his fetid presence.
Before we depart, I will set the ship's warp core to overload.

Damsel #2 :
 He really disappointed you.

Damsel #1 :
He disgusts me.
My only regret is that I will not be able to see his pretty painted face as he takes his final breath.


[in Klingon] 
L'Rell, where are you taking the prisoner? 

Damsel #1 :
You were not what I expected.

Damsel #2 :
Neither were you.
[L'Rell grunting] [groans] 

Damsel #1 :
At least you won't die in a cage, Admiral.

 [yells] - [electricity sizzling] 

[in Klingon] 
She took my blade and tried to escape.
I will dispose of the body.



(WHOOSHES OPEN) 
(DOOR WHOOSHES SHUT) 

Damsel #1 :
You live.

Damsel #2 :
And you finally made it aboard the USS Discovery, 
though I suspect you've found 
the accommodations lacking.

Damsel #1 :
Even from a cage, 
Kahless Hears My Call.


Damsel #2 :
I do not subscribe to Your Ideals.

And yet, I feel as though 
You and I understand 
each other.

Damsel #1 :
T'Kuvma taught that 
all humans are 
without Courage.

About this
He was Wrong.

Damsel #2 :
I want to be Truthful with You.
Your Side is winning.

When we met, you had 
nothing but contempt 
for the crumbling leadership 
of The Klingon Empire.

Damsel #1 :
T'Kuvma sought to strengthen 
and unify The Great Houses.
If he has succeeded in only this, 
it is cause for celebration.

Damsel #2 :
Your Great Houses are carving up 
Federation assets among their factions —
A captured starbase 
bears the insignia of House D'Ghor
not of The Klingon Empire.

Is that the kind of unity your messiah proclaimed? 
They think nothing of 
the collateral damage 
caused by their brutal attacks.
They target civilians, 
hospitals, food convoys.
They slaughter innocents and inspire terror across the quadrant.

Damsel #1 :
This is War, not a child's game with rules.
We fight to preserve Klingon Identity.

Damsel #2 :
No one is looking to destroy Your Culture.
Our Laws are founded in Equality.
Freedom.

Damsel #1 :
T'Kuvma taught us that 
The Federation cannot help itself.
It seeks universal homogenization 
and assimilation.

Damsel #2 :
T'Kuvma was an ignorant fool.
And Your People are moving closer and closer 
to My Home Planet.
What are you looking for? 

More Territory? 
Conditional Surrender? 

I mean, Your People won't 
even make demands.

Why? How does This War end

Damsel #1 :
It doesn't.
Klingons have tasted your blood.
Conquer Us or, We will never relent.

Damsel #2 :
Thank You.

Sunday 24 February 2019

Journey, The Blue Soldier



JOURNEY: 
I'm Lieutenant Journey Blue of the Combined Galactic Resistance. 
I demand you take me back to my command ship, the Aristotle, which is currently located -


Attack Eyebrows : 
No. Hey, not like that. 

JOURNEY: 
You will take me back to my command ship, which is currently positioned -

Attack Eyebrows : 
No, no. Come on. 
Not like that. Not like that. 
Get it right

(Journey lowers her gun.)

JOURNEY: 
.....Will you take me back to my ship? 
....Please? 

Attack Eyebrows : 
The Aristotle's the big fella parked in the asteroid belt, yeah? 


(The Doctor sets the TARDIS moving.)

JOURNEY: 
It's shielded.

Attack Eyebrows : 
More or less. 

(The Aristotle is hiding by one edge of a long thin asteroid. Journey opens the Tardis door.)

Attack Eyebrows : 
Dry your eyes, Journey Blue. 
Crying's for civilians. 
It's how we communicate with you lot. 

*****




JOURNEY: 
These are nanocontrollers. 
Once we're miniaturised, they take over the molecular compression. 
When the mission's over, hit the button. 

(Journey puts the bracelet on Clara's wrist.)

JOURNEY: 
Are you sure you understand?

CLARA: 
Why wouldn't I? 

JOURNEY: 
Because this is a dangerous mission 
and you look like a school teacher. 

CLARA: 
I am a school teacher -
Still didn't catch your name. 

JOURNEY: 
Journey Blue. 

CLARA: 
Blue? 

JOURNEY: 
Blue, yes. 
Problem? 

CLARA: 
No. Er, I just met a soldier called Pink. 

JOURNEY: 
Lucky fella. 

CLARA: 
Lucky? 

JOURNEY: 
From the way you smile. 

CLARA: 
So, er, who makes you smile 
or is nobody up to the job? 

JOURNEY: 
My Brother. 
But he burned to death a couple of hours ago, so he's really letting me down today. 

Excuse me. 




Attack Eyebrows : 
What are those ones for? 
I don't need armed baby-sitters. 

GRETCHEN: 
We're not baby-sitters.

ROSS: 
We're here to shoot you dead if you turn out to be a Dalek spy. 

Attack Eyebrows : 
Well, that's a relief. 
I hate baby-sitters. 



JOURNEY: 
Okay, listen up. 
Now, remember, do not hold your breath when the nanoscaler engages. 
You'll feel like you want to, but you must keep breathing normally during the miniaturisation process. 

CLARA: 
Why? 

Attack Eyebrows: 
Ever microwaved a lasagne without pricking the film on top? 

CLARA: 
It explodes. 

Attack Eyebrows: 
Don't be lasagne. 

MORGAN: 
Nanoscaler engaging in five four three two. 
Nanoscaler engaging now. 

COMPUTER: 
Nanoscaling in progress. 

(A crossbeam passes back and forth over chamber id AR-O13-AR-F74 until it shrinks with a bump.)

COMPUTER: 
Nanoscaling complete. 

MORGAN: 
Nanoscaling successful. 
Everyone okay in there? 

(The chamber is carefully picked up with a pair of tweezers.)

JOURNEY Blue :
We made it. 
Nobody popped. 

Danny, The Pink Soldier


DANNY,
The Pink Soldier : 
There's a bit more to modern soldiering than just shooting people. 
I like to think there's a moral dimension. 

CLARA: 
Ah, you shoot people then cry about it afterwards? 






QUINTUS = ‘FIVE’ = GRACE




GRACE :
A People Should Know When They’re Conquered.

Maximus Decimus Meridius 
The Pink Soldier :
Would You, Quintus?
Would I?


Soil?

The Elder :
No, I’m fine, Ta.


Maximus Decimus Meridius 
The Pink Soldier :
Strength+Honour



SECRETARY
So, Mister Pink, did you have a good weekend? 

DANNY
The Pink Soldier : 
Yeah, I did, thanks. 

SECRETARY: 
Yeah, I'll bet you did. 
What did you get up to? 

DANNY
The Pink Soldier : 
Er, you know. 
A bit of reading. 

SECRETARY: 
Oh, I bet you were reading. 

DANNY
The Pink Soldier : 
I was, yeah. 

SECRETARY:
 Yeah, I bet you were. 

DANNY
The Pink Soldier : 
Well, yeah, I was. 

SECRETARY:
 I know your type. 

(A schoolgirl, The Damsel, is listening at the public counter.)

COURTNEY,
The Damsel : 
She wishes. 

SECRETARY: 
Be quiet, you. 

[Maths classroom]
DANNY: 
So that's all the questions on page 32, 
except the last one, and then everything on page 33. 
All that in for Thursday. Any questions? 


FLEMING: 
Sir? Have you ever killed a man? 

(Groans from the rest of the class.)

DANNY: 
I was a soldier. 
There were other soldiers 
and some of them weren't on our side. 
I shall leave the rest to your imagination. 
And, please, think of another question? 

FLEMING: 
Okay. Have you ever killed anyone who wasn't a soldier? 

DANNY: 
Just to repeat, that's all the questions on page 32, except the last one, and then everything on page 33. 
All that in for Thursday. Is everyone clear? 

CLASS: 
Yes, sir.
(The class watch a lone tear roll down Danny's cheek.)


[Staff room]


(The staff are putting on their coats to leave. Clara is discussing timetables with the headmaster.)

CLARA: 
Fine, I'll take that class and then, they can do some of the test. 

ARMITAGE: 
I know. Oh, Clara, you've not met Danny Pink yet? 
New fella, maths. Danny? 
Clara Oswald. 

CLARA: 
Hey.

ARMITAGE: 
English. 

DANNY: 
Hey, nice to meet you. 

CLARA: 
You too. 

ARMITAGE: 
Want to watch yourself around him. 
Bit of a lady-killer, but always denies it. 

DANNY: 
I am not a lady-killer. 

ARMITAGE: 
See what I mean?
Oh, Beth, can I have a word? 

BETH [OC]: 
Yeah, yeah, sure. 

CLARA: 
Er, was it you that I saw outside doing the soldiery thing? 

DANNY: 
Ah yeah, probably. 
The Coal Hill Cadets. Just a bit of fun. 

CLARA: 
What, teaching them how to shoot people? 

DANNY: 
There's a bit more to modern soldiering than just shooting people. 
I like to think there's a moral dimension. 

CLARA: 
Ah, you shoot people then cry about it afterwards? 

DANNY: 
Ah. 

CLARA: 
Something wrong? 

DANNY: 
Nothing, no. Sorry, no, nothing. 
I just. I didn't think they'd say anything, that's all. 

CLARA: 
Sorry? 

DANNY: 
Have they told everyone? 

CLARA: 
No, no, no. 
As far as I know, nobody has told anybody anything. 
What are you talking about? 

DANNY: 
Why did you just say the crying thing? 

CLARA: 
I was being funny. 

DANNY: 
Why? 

CLARA: 
I just do that. 

DANNY: 
Why? 

CLARA: 
I don't know. 

DANNY: 
Anyway I, er, 
I've left some stuff in my class. 

CLARA: 
Okay, see you. 

DANNY: 
See you. 

CLARA: 
Er, are you going to the, er, leaving thing tonight for Cathy? 

DANNY: 
Um. 


[Maths classroom]

DANNY: 
Yeah. I wasn't going, but I am now, because you're going to be there, and suddenly it seems like the best idea ever. 

[Staff room]


DANNY: 
No, I'm not. 

CLARA: 
Oh, okay, never mind. 

DANNY: 
Good night. 

CLARA: 
Change your mind. 

DANNY: 
Excuse me? 

CLARA: 
I'm going. Er, I'll give you a lift. 
Why not? 


[Maths classroom]


DANNY: 
Actually, now that you mention it, seems like the best plan ever.
 Thank you. 


[Staff room]


DANNY: 
No, I've got some reading. 

CLARA: 
Ah, okay. Maybe some other time, then? 


[Maths classroom]

DANNY: 
Thank you!

(He bangs his forehead on his desk.) 

CLARA: 
Ahem. 
Is the wooden sound you or or the desk? 

DANNY: 
How long have you been there? 

CLARA: 
Longer than you would like. 

DANNY: 
Okay. 

CLARA: 
Are you going to look that terrified when you take me out for a drink? 

DANNY: 
I, I absolutely promise I won't. 

CLARA: 
Play your cards right and you might.



Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes — 
men who despise you — 
enslave you — who regiment your lives — 
tell you what to do — what to think or what to feel! 
Who drill you, diet you, 
treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. 

Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men — 
machine-men with machine minds 
and machine hearts! 

You are not machines! 
You are not cattle! 
You are men! 

You have the love of humanity in your hearts. 
You don't hate! Only the unloved hate — 
The unloved and the unnatural! 


Soldiers! 
Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! 

In the 17th Chapter of St. Luke it is written: 
"the Kingdom of God is within Man" — 
not one man nor a group of men, 
but in all men! In you! 

You, the people have the power — 
The power to create machines. 
The power to create happiness! 

You, the people, have the power 
to make this life free and beautiful, 
to make this life a wonderful adventure.