9/11 is a Joke

Now I dialed 911 a long time ago 

don't you see how late they reactin'

They only come when they come when they wanna go 

get the morgue truck and then bag the goner

They don't care cause they get paid 

anyway they treat you like an ace that can't be betrayed

I know you's know with no use people if your life is on the line, 

then you're dead today

Late comers and the late comers stretcher 

that's a body bag in disguise y'all I'll betcha

I call 'em body snatchers quick they come to fetch you

With a autopsy ambulance just to dissect ya

They are the kings 'cos they swing amputation 

lose your arms your legs the famous compilation

I can prove it to you watch the rotation 

it all adds up to a funky situation

Get up get, get, get down 911 is a joke in yo town

Get up get, get, get down late 911 wears the late crown

Get up get, get, get down 911 is a joke in yo town

Get up get, get, get down late 911 wears the late crown

911 is a joke, 911 is a joke

Everyday they don't ever come correct 

you can ask my man right here with the broken neck

He's a witness to the job never bein' 

done he would've been in full effect

911 is a joke cause their always jokin' 

they the token to your life when it's croakin'

They need to be in a pawn shop 

on a 911 is a joke we don't want 'em

I'll call a cab 'cause a cab will come quicker 

the doctors huddle up and call a flea flicker

The reason that I say that 'cause they flick you off like fleas

They be laughin' at ya while you're crawlin' on our knees

And to the strength, so go the length 

thinkin' you are first when you really are tenth

You better wake up and smell the real flavor 

cause 911 is a fake life saver

Get up get, get, get down 911 is a joke in yo town

Get up get, get, get down late 911 wears the late crown

Get up get, get, get down 911 is a joke in yo town

Get up get, get, get down late 911 wears the late crown

911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke

Get up get, get, get down 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke

Get up get, get, get down 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke

Get up get, get, get down

McCOY: 
Come on Spock, it's me, McCoy! 
You really have gone where no man has gone before. 
Can't you tell me what it felt like?

SPOCK: 
It would be impossible to discuss the subject without a common frame of reference.

McCOY: 
You're joking!

SPOCK: 
"A joke" - is, a story with a humorous climax.

McCOY: 
You mean I have to die to discuss your insights on death?

SPOCK: 
Forgive me, Doctor, I am receiving a number of distress calls.


McCOY: 
I don't doubt it!


*****

[Spock's quarters]

KIRK: 

Spock?

SPOCK: 

I prefer it dark.

KIRK: 

Dining on ashes?

SPOCK: 

You were right. 

It was arrogant presumption on my part that got us into this situation. 

You and the Doctor might have been killed.

KIRK: 

The night is young. 

You said it yourself. It was logical. 

Peace is worth a few personal risks. 

...You're a great one for logic. 

I'm a great one for rushing in where angels fear to tread. 

We're both extremists. 

Reality is... probably somewhere in between. 

...I couldn't get past the death of my son.

SPOCK: 

I was prejudiced by her accomplishments as a Vulcan.

KIRK: 

Gorkon had to die before I understood how prejudiced I was.

SPOCK: 

Is it possible ...that we two, you and I, have grown so old, and so inflexible 

...that we have outlived our usefulness...? 

...Would that constitute... 

...a joke?

KIRK: 

Don't crucify yourself. It wasn't your fault.

SPOCK: 

I was responsible.

KIRK: 

For no actions but your own

SPOCK: 

That is not what you said at your trial.

KIRK: 

That was as Captain of a ship. Human beings...

SPOCK: 

But Captain, we both know that I am not human.

KIRK: 

Spock, do you want to know something..? 

...Everybody's human.

SPOCK: 

I find that remark ...insulting.

KIRK: 

Come on, I need you.

Yes, 

Us people are just poems 

We're ninety percent metaphor 

With a leanness of meaning 

Approaching hyper-distillation 

And once upon a time 

We were moonshine 

Rushing down the throat of a giraffe 

Yes, rushing down the long hallway 

Despite what the p.a. announcement says 

Yes, rushing down the long hall

Down the long stairs 

In a building so tall 

That it will always be there 

Yes, it's part of a pair 

There on the bow of Noah's ark 

The most prestigious couple 

Just kickin' back parked 

Against a perfectly blue sky 

On a morning beatific 

In its Indian summer breeze 

On the day that America 

Fell to its knees 

After strutting around for a century 

Without saying thank you 

Or please

And the shock was subsonic 

And the smoke was deafening 

Between the setup and the punch line 

Cause we were all on time for work that day 

We all boarded that plane for to fly 

And then while the fires were raging 

We all climbed up on the window sill 

And then we all held hands 

And jumped into the sky

And every borough looked up when it heard the first blast 

And then every dumb action movie was summarily surpassed 

And the exodus uptown by foot and motorcar 

Looked more like war than anything I've seen so far 

So far 

So far 

So fierce and ingenious 

A poetic specter so far gone 

That every jackass newscaster was struck dumb and stumbling 

Over 'oh my god' and 'this is unbelievable' and on and on 

And I'll tell you what, while we're at it 

You can keep the pentagon 

Keep the propaganda 

Keep each and every tv 

That's been trying to convince me 

To participate 

In some prep school punk's plan to perpetuate retribution 

Perpetuate retribution 

Even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in retribution 

Is still hanging in the air 

And there's ash on our shoes 

And there's ash in our hair 

And there's a fine silt on every mantle 

From hell's kitchen to Brooklyn 

And the streets are full of stories 

Sudden twists and near misses 

And soon every open bar is crammed to the rafters 

With tales of narrowly averted disasters 

And the whiskey is flowin' 

Like never before 

As all over the country 

Folks just shake their heads 

And pour

So here's a toast to all the folks that live in Palestine, Afghanistan, 

Iraq, El Salvador

Here's a toast to the folks living on the pine ridge reservation 

Under the stone cold gaze of Mt. Rushmore

Here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors 

Who daily provide women with a choice 

Who stand down a threat the size of Oklahoma City 

Just to listen to a young woman's voice

Here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now 

Awaiting the executioner's guillotine 

Who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads 

To find peace in the form of a dream, peace in the form of a dream

Cause take away our PlayStations 

And we are a third world nation 

Under the thumb of some blue blood royal son 

Who stole the oval office and that phony election 

I mean 

It don't take a weatherman 

To look around and see the weather 

Jeb said he'd deliver Florida, folks 

And boy did he ever

And we hold these truths to be self evident: 

Number one, George W. Bush is not president 

Number two, America is not a true democracy 

Number three, the media is not fooling me 

Cause I am a poem heeding hyper-distillation 

I've got no room for a lie so verbose 

I'm looking out over my whole human family 

And I'm raising my glass in a toast

Here's to our last drink of fossil fuels 

May we vow to get off of this sauce 

Shoo away the swarms of commuter planes 

And find that train ticket we lost 

Cause once upon a time the line followed the river 

And peeked into all the backyards 

And the laundry was waving 

The graffiti was teasing us 

From brick walls and bridges 

We were rolling over ridges 

Through valleys 

Under stars 

I dream of touring like Duke Ellington 

In my own railroad car 

I dream of waiting on the tall blond wooden benches 

In a grand station aglow with grace 

And then standing out on the platform 

And feeling the air on my face

Give back the night its distant whistle 

Give the darkness back its soul 

Give the big oil companies the finger finally 

And relearn how to rock-n-roll 

Yes, the lessons are all around us and the truth is waiting there 

So it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets 

And clear the air 

Get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand 

Of someone else's desert 

Put it back in its pants 

And quit the hypocritical chants of 

Freedom forever

Cause when one lone phone rang 

In two thousand and one 

At ten after nine 

On nine one one 

Which is the number we all called 

When that lone phone rang right off the wall 

Right off our desk and down the long hall 

Down the long stairs 

In a building so tall 

That the whole world turned 

Just to watch it fall

And while we're at it 

Remember the first time around? 

The bomb? 

The Ryder truck? 

The parking garage? 

The princess that didn't even feel the pea? 

Remember joking around in our apartment on Avenue D?

Can you imagine how many paper coffee cups would have to change their design 

Following a fantastical reversal of the New York skyline?!

It was a joke 

At the time 

And that was just a few years ago 

So let the record show 

That the FBI was all over that case 

That the plot was obvious and in everybody's face 

And scoping that scene 

Religiously 

The CIA 

Or is it KGB? 

Committing countless crimes against humanity 

With this kind of eventuality 

As its excuse 

For abuse after expensive abuse 

And it didn't have a clue 

Look, another window to see through 

Way up here 

On the hundredth and fourth floor 

Look 

Another key 

Another door 

Ten percent literal 

Ninety percent metaphor 

Three thousand some poems disguised as people 

On an almost too perfect day 

Must be more than pawns 

In some asshole's passion play 

So now it's your job 

And it's my job 

To make it that way 

To make sure they didn't die in vain 

Ssh

Baby listen 

Hear the train?

Endings

It is a Reminder to Me That All Things End.

VALERIS: 

I do not understand this representation.

SPOCK: 

It's a depiction from ancient Earth mythology. 

'The Expulsion from Paradise.'

VALERIS: 

Why keep it in your quarters?

SPOCK: 

It is a reminder to me, that All Things End.

VALERIS: 

It is of endings that I wish to speak. 

Sir, I address you as a kindred intellect. 

Do you not recognise ...that a turning point has been reached in the affairs of the Federation?

SPOCK: 

History is replete with turning points, Lieutenant. 

You must have faith.

VALERIS: 

Faith?

SPOCK: 

That The Universe will unfold as it should.

VALERIS: 

But is this logical? Surely we must...

SPOCK: 

Logic, Logic, Logic...

Logic is the beginning of wisdom, Valeris, not the end. 

...This will be my final voyage on board this vessel as a member of her crew. 

Nature abhors a vacuum. 

I intend you to replace me.

VALERIS: 

I could only succeed you, sir.

*******

[Spock's quarters]

KIRK: 

Spock?

SPOCK: 

I prefer it dark.

KIRK: 

Dining on ashes?

SPOCK: 

You Were Right. 

It was Arrogant Presumption on my part that got us into this situation. 

You and the Doctor might have been killed.

KIRK: 

The Night is Young. 

You said it Your Self. It was logical. 

Peace is worth a few personal risks. 

...You're a great one for logic. 

I'm a great one for rushing in Where Angels Fear to Tread. 

We're both extremists. 

Reality is... probably somewhere in between. 

...I couldn't get past the death of my son.

SPOCK: 

I was prejudiced by her accomplishments as a Vulcan.

KIRK: 

Gorkon had to die before I understood how prejudiced I was.

SPOCK: 

Is it possible ...that We Two, You and I, 
have grown so old, and so inflexible 

...that we have outlived our usefulness...? 

...Would that constitute... 

...a joke?

KIRK: 

Don't crucify yourself. It wasn't your fault.

SPOCK: 

I was responsible.

KIRK: 

For no actions but your own

SPOCK: 

That is not what you said at your trial.

KIRK: 

That was as Captain of a ship. Human beings...

SPOCK: 

But Captain, we both know that I am not human.

KIRK: 

Spock, do you want to know something..? 

...Everybody's human.

SPOCK: 

I find that remark ...insulting.

KIRK: 

Come on, I need you.

THE REBEL WARRIOR : 

Don't tell me you're getting sentimental, Quark. 

THE MAN OF BUSINESS : 

Me? Not a chance. 
I just don't like change. 

THE PROPHET: 

You'd better get used to it. 

Things are going to be pretty different around here now. 

To the best crew any Captain ever had. 

This may be the last time we're all together, but no matter what The Future holds, 
no matter how far we travel, 
a part of us, a very important part, will always remain here on Deep Space Nine. 

To everything - turn, turn, turn

There is a season - turn, turn, turn

And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die

A time to plant, a time to reap

A time to kill, a time to heal

A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything - turn, turn, turn

There is a season - turn, turn, turn

And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down

A time to dance, a time to mourn

A time to cast away stones

A time to gather stones together

To everything - turn, turn, turn

There is a season - turn, turn, turn

And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate

A time of war, a time of peace

A time you may embrace

A time to refrain from embracing

To everything - turn, turn, turn

There is a season - turn, turn, turn

And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose

A time to rend, a time to sew

A time for love, a time for hate

A time for peace, I swear it's not too late!

Praxis-Rings Over Pyongyang

Like the Klingon, I seem to see the noonday skies above over Pyongyang rippling with many Praxis-rings...

Shields..!

SHIELDS!!

Captain Hikaru SULU: 

Quarter impulse power! ...Damage report!

VALTANE: 

Checking all systems, Captain.

SULU: 

Don't tell me that was any meteor shower..!

VALTANE: 

Negative, sir. The subspace shockwave originated at bearing three two three, mark seven five. 

Location...

It's Praxis, sir. It's a Klingon moon.

SULU: 

Praxis is their key energy production facility. 

...Send to Klingon High Command :

'This is Excelsior, a Federation starship. 

We have monitored a large explosion in your sector. 

Do you require assistance?'

RAND: 

Aye sir.

SULU: 

Mister Valtane, any more data?

VALTANE: 

Yes sir. I have confirmed the location of Praxis, sir, but...

SULU: 

What is it?

VALTANE: 

I cannot confirm the existence of Praxis.

SULU: 

On screen! ...Magnify!

COMPUTER VOICE: 

Computer enhancement.

SULU: 

Praxis?

VALTANE: 

What's left of it, sir.

RAND: 

Captain, I'm getting a message from Praxis.

SULU: 

Let's have it.

KERLA (on viewscreen): 

This is Brigadier Kerla, speaking for the High Command. 

There has been an incident on Praxis. 

However everything is under control. 

We have no need for assistance. 

Obey treaty stipulations and remain outside the Neutral Zone. 

This transmission ends, now.

SULU: 

An incident?

RAND: 

Do we report this, sir?

SULU: 

Are you kidding?

 AIDE-DE-CAMP: 

This briefing is Classified. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, the C-in-C.

C in C: 

As you were. 

I'll break this information down succinctly :

The Klingon Empire has roughly fifty years of life left in it. 

...For full details, I am turning this briefing over to Federation Special Envoy.

  

SPOCK: 

Good morning. 

Two months ago a Federation starship monitored an explosion on the Klingon moon Praxis. 

We believe it was caused by over-mining and insufficient safety precautions. 

The moon's decimation means a deadly pollution of their ozone. 

They will have depleted their supply of oxygen in approximately fifty Earth years. 

Due to their enormous military budget, the Klingon economy does not have the resources to combat this catastrophe. 

Last month, at the behest of the Vulcan Ambassador I opened a dialogue with Gorkon, Chancellor of the Klingon High Council. 

He proposes to commence negotiations at once.
 

CARTWRIGHT: 

Negotiations for, what..?

SPOCK: 

The dismantling of our space stations and starbases along the Neutral Zone, 

an end to almost seventy years of unremitting hostility with the Klingons, 

which the Klingons, can no longer afford.

 MILITARY AIDE: 

Bill, are we talking about mothballing the Starfleet..?

C in C: 

I'm sure that our exploration and scientific programs would be unaffected, Captain, but...

CARTWRIGHT: 

I must protest. 

To offer the Klingons a safe haven within Federation space is suicide. 

Klingons would become the alien trash of the galaxy. 

And if we dismantle the fleet, we'd be defenceless before an aggressive species with a foothold on our territory. 

The opportunity here, is to bring them to their knees. 

Then we'll be in a far better position to dictate terms.
 

KIRK: 

Sir!

C in C: 

Captain Kirk?

KIRK: 

The Klingons have never been trustworthy. 

I'm forced to agree with Admiral Cartwright. 

This is a terrifying idea.

SPOCK: 

It is imperative that we act now to support the Gorkon initiative, lest more conservative elements persuade his Empire that it is better to attempt a military solution and die fighting.

In the indefinite future, the "Stalker" (Alexander Kaidanovsky) works in some unclear territory as a guide who leads people through the "Zone," an area in which the normal laws of reality do not apply.
The Zone contains a place called the "Room," said to grant the wishes of anyone who steps inside. The area containing the Zone is sealed off by the government and great hazards exist within it. At home with his wife and daughter, the Stalker's wife (Alisa Freindlich) begs him not to go into the Zone but he ignores her pleas. In a rundown bar, the Stalker meets his next clients for a trip into the Zone. The "Writer" (Anatoly Solonitsyn) and the "Professor" (Nikolai Grinko) agree to put their fates in the Stalker's hands. They remain nameless and the characters refer to one another by their professions.

They evade the military blockade that guards the Zone, surviving gunfire from the guards. They then ride into the heart of the Zone on a railway work car. The Stalker tells his clients they must do exactly as he says to survive the dangers which lie ahead and explains the Zone's dangers are invisible. The Stalker tests for traps by throwing metal nuts tied to strips of cloth ahead of them. The complicated path that they must take cannot be specifically seen nor heard but can only be sensed. The shortest path is never the straight path.

The Writer is skeptical of any real danger, but the Professor generally follows the Stalker's advice. As they travel, the three men discuss their reasons for wanting to visit the Room. The Writer expresses his fear of losing his inspiration. He appears angry and stressed. The Professor seems less anxious, though he insists on carrying along a small backpack, its contents unknown. While the Professor's desires are not clear, he reluctantly gives in to repeated pleas from the Writer and admits he hopes to win a Nobel Prize for a scientific analysis of the Zone. The Stalker insists he has no motive beyond the altruistic aim of aiding the desperate. At times, he refers to a previous Stalker named "Porcupine," who had led his brother to his death in the Zone, visited the Room, come into possession of a large sum of money, and then hanged himself, completely contradicting what the Room is supposed to supply.

While the Room appears to fulfill a visitor's wishes, these might not be consciously expressed wishes but unconscious desires. In addition it appears that the Zone itself has a kind of sentience. When the Writer later confronts the Stalker about his knowledge of the Zone and the Room, the Stalker replies that his information came from the now deceased Porcupine. After traveling through tunnels the three reach their destination. They determine that their goal lies inside a decayed and decrepit industrial building. In a small antechamber, a phone begins to ring. The Writer answers and cryptically speaks into the phone, stating "this is not the clinic," before hanging up. The surprised Professor decides to use the phone to telephone a colleague. In the ensuing conversation, he reveals his true intentions in undertaking the journey. The Professor has brought a nuclear device with him, and he intends to destroy the Room to prevent its use by evil men.

The three then fight verbally and physically in a larger antechamber just outside the Room. The fight ends in a draw with all three of them exhausted. As they catch their breath, the Writer experiences an epiphany about the Room's true nature. He argues that when Porcupine met his goal, despite his conscious motives, the room fulfilled Porcupine's secret desire for wealth, instead of bringing back his brother from death. This in turn prompted Porcupine to commit suicide. The Writer further reasons the Room is dangerous to those who seek it for negative reasons. With his earlier fears assuaged, the Professor gives up on his plan of destroying the Room. Instead, he disassembles his bomb and scatters its pieces. The men rest before the doorway and never enter the Room. Rain begins to fall into the Room through its ruined ceiling, then gradually fades away.

The Stalker, the Writer, and the Professor are shown back in the bar, and are met there by the Stalker's wife and daughter. A black dog that had followed the three men through the Zone is in the bar with them. When his wife asks where he got the dog, Stalker declares that it just came to him, and he remarks that he felt unable to leave it behind.

Later, when the Stalker's wife tells him that she would like to visit the Room herself, he expresses doubts about the Zone. He states that he fears her dreams will not be fulfilled. As the Stalker sleeps, his wife contemplates their relationship in a monologue delivered directly to the camera. She declares that she knew perfectly well that life with him would be hard, since he would be unreliable and their children would face challenges, but she concludes that she is better off with him despite their many trials. "Monkey," the couple's daughter, sitting alone in the kitchen, recites a love poem by Fyodor Tyutchev.

Monkey holds the large book and lays her head on a table. She then appears to use psychokinesis to push three drinking glasses across it, one after the other moving across the table, the third one falling to the floor. A train passes by where the Stalker's family lives, and the entire apartment shakes. As the noise of the train begin to subside, the film ends.